Thursday, September 21, 2006

hi all,

i havent blogged for a very long time (compared to how much i used to blog). first and foremost, the promos are coming and i shld be studying but i felt like blogging. and since i dun wanna waste ur time, i shall first tell you who shouldnt read the following blog entry. the following types of people shouldnt read the following blog entry.

1) those who are frantically mugging for promos and cant be bothered with anything else
2) those who dislike/hate listening to other ppl rant
3) those who dislike/hate me and cant be bothered with wad i have to say

thats done. and after going down the 3 things above i believe only a small fraction (if not none) of the class would still be reading this.

guys shouldnt cry, but when one hasnt cried for too long, one forgets how to and wills oneself not to.

a lot of things happened recently. and i think my perception of the world has changed tremendously, possibly the most in the short 17 years i have had, in the past 2 weeks or so.

i have never had such a close call with death. his demise is truly a great blow. i have never thot a close fren would leave just like that. he has been a classmate for 4 years, and i still do see him around. it is hard to believe someone that i just talked to would be gone from the face of this world just like that. i hope he is in a better place, truly. on another note, thank you, i noe you tried to lessen my pain, and i appreciate it.

there are some things that are better not spoken and cannot be spoken, for it must be protected with life. still there are deep regrets. for one, i should not have told, yes, but i am not entirely at fault. so pls dun blame me anymore; for the other, i tell you, if you still think that way, i can do little; and the rest, i tell you, you do not noe wad happened so dun guess cos you will never get it; and the last one, it isnt wad you think happened. and there's that, i cant go on.

i noe its a long entry. but i noe at least one would read till here. it is not complacency, i just noe. so read on if you would, it is your choice.

to you, i am glad i asked. maybe it all happened too sudden, but i had to noe somehow, cos it was suffocating me. it so happened and at the end of it, i have a friend, probably a soulmate, so thank you. it means a lot.

i asked the other day," how do you stretch a rubber band infinitely without breaking it? " repeatedly i asked myself that question. and when mrs chan toked abt the present, i had an answer. "maybe you cannot stretch it infinitely, wad you can do is to stretch it and release and stretch it again so that you extend its elasticity but to do it infinitely is an impossible task" there are things in life that can be pushed to a certain limit, but there are things beyond our control. thats life.

now, if i am guessing correctly (if a certain individual reads to this point and i stress 'if'), that person must be thinking that this guy (referring to me) is a psycho. maybe. why the heck am i toking abt all this?

too bad. i dunnoe the answer. maybe i just need an outlet. maybe i feel like this might be the only way i can let go. maybe.

this is going to be my last blog entry here, i think. but i am not giving up this blog (i noe a lot of ppl have, lol), i will still check it. have been reading and rereading the previous entries a dozen times alrdy.

at the beginning of the year, our class was truly the least bonded class i have been in since secondary school. maybe it is the guys and girls thing, and we are just not used to it. but truly, miraculously, it has become a class destined for great things. many ppl tell me that my class must be a mugger class. yes indeed we might be one, but there is a hell lot more spirit, and a hell lot more things than being mugger class. we have had 2 class outings to ECP, and a class song (lyrics and tune but havent heard it yet, eugene says he will play it after promos, hope we will hear it then), and 3 class lunches (if i rem correctly), and a class CIP (lol, i noe a lot of ppl not involved but hey you will be when the camp prep starts). i have never felt part of something as much as this. Really.

you ppl can continue using this blog. i am giving admin rites to everyone. i think i held on to it for too long and it is time to let go. and see if you can tell me who trueblueET is. the administrator doesnt noe everything, lol.

it is (almost) a year since jc life started and i think many would agree that time flies. indeed. and time is precious. so if you have been reading my rants, i think it is time you continued mugging for promos while i go sleep.

that is all.

chevres
junyang