Saturday, April 15, 2006

since some "gentlemen" have given us some ideas on wat a gentleman should be, i should post some tips for those gentlegal wannabes out there (are there any in the first place, heehee i dont think so).

1. Carry all your bags including those super heavy ones. carry all your chairs and open all your doors yourself. and when any gentleman offers to help, kindly decline and say "oh i can manage" even when you are dying. when any gentleman actually helps for let's say open the door, close the door and open the door again, then enter the lecture theatre yourself.

2. Never play any jokes including kindly helping pple sign up for courses they need. and never kope any pple's precious ws or ball. and when they kope your pencil case or pen, just smile and say, "oh you can have that".

3. Never hit any guy with anything heavier than a feather even when they bullied you. and when they hit you cos you just daoed them, kindly smile and say, "sorry i daoed you"

4. Never raise your voice above 0.000000001 decibels and tok only loud enough for youself to hear. appear as meek as possible and never question anything you disagree upon, it will give some guys MAXIMUN satisfaction and boost their EGO.

5. Don't tok when you are doing the ora walk-a-jog. and walk realli realli fast cos some gang of three (or two) will be so irritated with the noise and speed, they rather run for the WALK a JOG.

6. Allow some guys to lose your stuff even if it's your favourite frisbee which they called childish. (oh they played with it rite, are they childish then?) and kindly apologise when they have to swim all the way out to the south china sea to get your favourite thing, even though their main motive was to have a cool bath (because of the stupid sea breeze) or to show off their good bod. (is there one in the first place)

7. Never comment on the amount of food a guy(monster?) eats even when he should leave some food for those in africa.

8. Never ask any guy how long or how many times he bathes a day. cos the answer will be under 2 times and the most for only 5 minutes. and when you are freaked out by the answer, dont cover your nose or spray air freshener, just smile and say, "you are so clean, you smell so man"

9. when you mention any gal in your conversation with a guy, pls include that gal's three dimensions. cos if not, the guy will DEFINITELY ask, "hot or not?"

10. no matter wat, just remember to be subservient and you will make a good gentlegal.

as we learnt from our gp lessons, i wont generalise. there are true gentlemen out there. so gals, when a true gentleman (not those who act) actually helps you, it's always nice to say thanks with your heart. this pt isnt one of the tips cos it's wat gals in general should do for TRUE gentlemen.

disclaimer: extraterrestrial means no offense to anybody. if you are angry, i have no time to tok to you. but if you are realli a gentlegal wannabe, oh please i definitely have time for you, to counsel you and change your thinking. i will try my best to help you find your real self and not be pulled along and pushed about by some proclaimed "gentlemen". =) love, elvina